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Stressed
for Success - The Balancing Act
As women continue to climb
the corporate ladders or join the ranks of entrepreneurs, we also
become part of the cycle of stress which results from increased responsibilities.
The important factor for most women is that when we take on the responsibilities
of managing a business, we continue to be the primary manager of the
home and family as well. Male partners in the home are more active
participants than in previous decades, but because of an unwillingness
to let go or because of social expectations, most women still assume
the greater share of the tasks associated with raising children and
managing a home. The balancing act is difficult and fatiguing. So
what can woman do?
1. Define your values.
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Know what is really
important to you. Make choices which reflect your values. Keep
others, including your business associates, customers, spouse,
neighbors, friends or family, from making choices for you which
are right for them. When we live our life according to others'
standards, we end up feeling that our life is not within our control,
leading to further distress. Making choices that are right for
us is not selfish, it just keeps us sane.
2. Build in concentrated
time for the priorities in your life.
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If you have children,
plan for uninterrupted time with them and keep focused. Don't
allow other responsibilities or pressures to interfere with this
time together. Read a story, color a picture, go shopping, walk
in the park, play a game or just talk.
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If you have a spouse
or significant other, plan activities which the two of you enjoy.
Don't just work or do chores together, but actually relax and
enjoy each other's company.
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When you plan to concentrate
on work, keep your focus. You will be able to complete the job
in less time while accomplishing more.
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Other family members
or friends will also appreciate it if the time you spend with
them is focused on them. Busy people often let important relationships
slip away through neglect. Keep in touch for your sake as well
as theirs.
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Find a hobby or activity
which allows you to relax. Painting, sewing, reading, music, sports,
walking or gardening are only a few activities in which women
can find enjoyment and peace
3. Develop a wellness plan.
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Exercise, nutrition,
regular physical check-ups and sufficient sleep are important
to physical wellness.
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Discuss your feelings
with someone you trust. Be willing to admit your feelings of pain
as well as joy. Ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way?" Keep
self-defeating thoughts from undermining your self-confidence.
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Quiet down. Every day
take 15-30 minutes to sit in absolute quiet. Quiet your mind and
concentrate on a picture in your mind of a peaceful place. Do
not allow any worries, to-do lists or frustrating thoughts to
take over.
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Lighten up. Every day
find something to laugh at, yourself if necessary. If nothing
has been funny all day, keep a reserve of articles, books, movies,
television shows or pictures which will at least give you a chuckle.
4. Ask others to help.
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Divide up household
chores with your family. Even young children learn responsibility
when they can pitch in. Many women express their feelings for
loved ones by doing for them. But "overdoing for others" becomes
a habit and can lead to resentment. If you can, hire help to do
household chores and supervise the kids after school.
5. Keep away from the illusory
dream of perfection.
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Have you ever wondered
how June Cleaver on "Leave It To Beaver" could have a wonderful
sit-down dinner every night, with a pressed tablecloth, fixed
hair and a starched dress? Because she was a fantasy. Illusions
of perfection are always fantasy, and trying to achieve them is
an exhausting waste of energy.
Balancing the commitments
of work and home, as well as the tasks that go with both jobs, is
as much of an art as a science. There is no "right" way to do it.
The wrong way is by ignoring your own needs for happiness and health.
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