How to Help "So what can you do? Patience, listen, reassure, reassure, reassure." - journalist Mike Wallace When someone we care about is hurting, we want to help. It is tempting when someone you know is depressed, to attempt to immediately fix the problem. However, the best thing you can do is acknowledge depression for what it is and give the person permission to feel depressed, even when there is no rational "reason" for the depression. Best Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed: 1. I love you 2. I care 3. You're not alone in this 4. I'm not going to leave you/abandon you 5. Do you want a hug 6. It will pass, we can ride it out together 7. When all this is over I'll still be here, and so will you 8. Don't say anything, just hug your friend or hold hands and give them a shoulder to cry on. 9. You're not crazy 10. You're important to me 11. I can't fully understand what you're feeling, but I can offer my compassion. 12. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain. The Worst Things to Say to Someone who is Depressed Some people trivialize depression, often unintentionally, by using platitudes when they don't really know what to say. 1. What's your problem? 2. Will you stop that constant whining? What makes you think anyone cares? 3. You just need to give yourself a kick in the rear 4. It's all in your mind 5. I thought you were stronger than that 6. No one ever said life was fair 7. There are a lot of people worse off than you 8. Why don't you just grow up 9. Stop feeling sorry for yourself 10. You have it so good, why aren't you happy? 11. What do you have to be depressed about. 12. You have so many things to be thankful for, why are you depressed? 13. Happiness is a choice 14. Well, at least it's not that bad. 15. Lighten up! 16. You should get off those pills 17. You are what you think 18. You're always feeling sorry for yourself 19. Why can't you just be normal? 20. Get a grip! 21. You're just looking for attention. 22. You don't look depressed 23. Well, everyone gets depressed sometimes. 24. You have no reason to feel this way 25. Just try a little harder 26. What you need is some real tragedy in your life to give you perspective. 27. Oh, perk up! 28. You need a: hobby boy friend girl friend job WHAT IS DEPRESSION? | WHO HAS DEPRESSION? TREATMENT OPTIONS | RESOURCES & LINKS ABOUT THIS PROGRAM | DEPRESSION MAIN PAGE   BACK TO HEALTHWORKS | RETURN TO TV HOME PAGE © 1999 Prairie Public Broadcasting, Inc.