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Holidays and Anniversaries

Holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and other sentimental occasions are high stressors for a bereaved person. The holiday brings fresh memories and a re-experience of the pain of grief. Oftentimes, anticipating the holiday is worse than the actual event. Don't think that if you ignore it, the holiday will slip by. Talk with family and friends and plan how you want to approach each holiday. If you can't decide what you want to do, think about what you don't want to do.

For each particular holiday/event, do you want to stay in town or spend the holiday somewhere else? What traditions do you want to maintain? Are there things you don't want to face this year? Make lists. Talk things over with friends. Plan. Have a good cry if you need to.

The anniversary of the death of a loved one can be particularly stressful. Don't assume it will be remembered by others. Let people know that the day is coming up. Plan what you want to do on that day - visit the cemetery, take a trip out of town, look at photos and share memories with friends.

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