• A Caregiver's
  Bill of Rights

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Special Caregiver Issues

Caring for the Caregiver
Adapted from an article by the Caregiving Network, Inc.

"Sprinkle a little guilt, spread some frustration, pile on the responsibilities, slice time in half, and you'll have a taste of the unsavory predicament facing the sandwich generation."

Coined for the growing number of Americans who are taking care of their aging parents and their children at the same time, members of the Sandwich Generation often find that taking care of themselves gets shoved to the back burner.

But the more you neglect yourself, the less effective you'll be as a caregiver, warned The National Council on the Aging (NCOA) in Washington, D.C. "As a caregiver, one of the best things you can do for the patient is to take care of yourself," said Lisa Gabel, geriatric social worker at The Moses H. Cone Geriatric Assessment Center.

Women in particular find themselves in the role of caregiver, whether by choice, instinct or process of elimination. Of all caregivers, almost 80 percent are women, and more than half of those women are in the workforce. Women have traditionally been socialized to play the nurturing role. Already juggling the demands of career and family, these women add yet another layer to the Superwoman Syndrome, squeezing time to take care of an aging parent or spouse.

Caregivers also face a "fear of the unknown". How much worse is it going to get? What's going to be required of me? As we're caring for our loved ones, we're dealing with our own aging process, too, and that makes us scared."

With all of the time commitment involved in caretaking, it's easy to see why many caregivers feel isolated. Not only is it difficult to carve out time to continue pursuing hobbies and activities, but also friends and family tend to shy away, either for fear of being asked to help or simply from a lack of understanding.

Resources are available to help caregivers cope. Caregivers need to pull from support services, be it support groups, home health, adult day care, respite services or an extended rest home and/or nursing home. They really need to pull support from their family and friends.

A person who is dealing with the kind of stress that comes with constant caregiving needs an outlet. According to the NCOA, most caregivers at some point feel tired, isolated, helpless, angry, resentful, and then guilty for having these negative feelings. While it's natural to have these feelings, the council explained, it's also important not to keep everything bottled up inside.
Start looking into support services before you even need the help. If you can develop a plan before your situation becomes a crisis, you'll have a clearer head to evaluate your options. As the saying goes, "If you don't plan, then you're planning to fail."

The Family Caregiver Alliance offers both information and an on-line support group at http://www.caregiver.org/online_sptgroup.html.

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