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Grief is not something you "get over". It is a process, not an event. Every person grieves at his or her own pace and in his or her own way. A child may experience a variety of feelings and behaviors at the time of loss and most are common reactions. Losses experienced early in life may be revisited at critical development stages or during important life events. Caregivers can help young people cope with grief and incorporate loss in their lives in ways that are mentally and physically healthy.

When a parent, brother, sister, grandparent or friend dies, a child may react with:

• Shock and denial
• Anger
• Confusion
• Guilt
• Physical/bodily distress
• Anxiety and feat
• Sadness and loneliness

Following a death, children may experience powerful and unfamiliar emotions. They may be unable to articulate these and they may create a feeling isolation or separateness. Children also often suppress their own grief because they don't want to be an additional burden to grieving parents and relatives.

A child often vents emotions through play. This is part of a child's grieving process and should not be discouraged or seen as denial. A child doesn't grieve like an adult and feelings involving loss are apparent one moment while the next moment a child may seem unaffected.

Bereaved children have a strong need to know that their world will be maintained and that their needs will be taken care of by a supporting adult. Children need to know their feelings are normal. The Hospice of the Red River Valley provides some specific recommendations on helping your child through the grief process.

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