.

.

Talking to a Child about Death

Children need simple answers. Listen carefully to their questions and answer directly. Use real words like dead and died. Avoid euphemisms. Talk about the person who died. This shows that their life had value and meaning.

Be Honest - provide simple, direct and honest answers and encourage questions. If you don't know the answer, say so.

It's Not Your Fault - reassure the child that he or she will always be taken care of and loved and that the death was not his or her fault.

Don't judge - do not judge what a child says or does. He or she may close up. Acknowledge what is said or done to preserve trust and help him or her to continue sharing.

Be a model - examine yourself and your own grieving. A child learns about grief by watching you. If you hide your feelings, the child will hide his or hers. Don't be afraid to cry around your child.

Teachable moments - use natural circumstances to teach the child about loss such as the death of a pet or the change of seasons.

Avoid unhealthy explanations - trying to make death seem less serious than it is can backfire:

He has gone on a long trip
The child may feel hurt that the person left without saying goodbye

He was taken away by God
The child may fear being taken away too, or may feel anger toward God

She died because she was sick
The child might think he or she will die the next time he or she is ill. Explain to the child if the person had a disease.

She is in eternal sleep
The child may become afraid of sleeping.

If you missed seeing Healthworks on Prairie Public Television, you still have a chance to keep up to date with these important health issues. Order a videotape copy of any of these interesting and informative programs for only $24.95 per program. Order online or call 1-800-359-6900 to order your copies today.